By Robin F. Lewis
Mandelbaum Salsburg P.C.
“Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.”
– Gilda Radner
When I first met my husband, I was a young lawyer, and he was an actor, trying to carve out a living. He resembled a young Gene Wilder, and one of the things that attracted me to him was his wild curly hair. He had what casting directors called a “specific face,” which was their nice way of saying they didn’t think he’d be stealing leading man roles from Paul Newman or Steve McQueen anytime soon. And he didn’t. But he did land a string of commercials, including one for FedEx, and he had many other great roles, including one on a long-running off-Broadway show.
I was so proud of him, so when he came home from auditions, I would anxiously await his debrief. “Did you get the part? What did they say?” He’d always respond the same way. “We’ll see.” I found that vague, so I’d press him on it. “No seriously. Did you do well? Did they like you? What do you think your chances are?” Always the same answer, “We’ll see.” He said that because uncertainty was a core part of his experience as an actor. The next role was never a given in his line of work. Actors always talk about getting their “big break,” the role that catapults their careers. But the reality of the big break was it could happen tomorrow, or it could never happen. To get through that massive uncertainty, you need a strong will and a rock-solid coping mechanism.
As a lawyer, it took me a long time to understand, and ultimately accept how he was so comfortable operating in a world of gray. But when I finally understood how he coped, and learned how to do it myself, it helped me as a lawyer and as a human being.
And it’s helping me now. We’ve all been affected by the immense uncertainty of the COVID-19 pandemic. The unknown is pervasive, and downright scary at times. We just don’t know when we’ll see our friends again, or when the simple pleasures we used to enjoy will return. Although we may not have the answers right now, it’s important that we feel empowered to move forward and grow during this time, both personally and professionally.
Personally, improving my physical health has become a priority. Before we went into quarantine, my treadmill sat mostly dormant in the corner of the basement, calling out to me. But now, I use it almost every morning, before the rush of client calls begins. I’ve also been regularly connecting with friends and family using Zoom and having much deeper conversations than I did before the pandemic. We always had access to this technology, and always had the desire to connect, but doing it just wasn’t a priority a year ago. Now, I have Zoom calls with my college roommates on the west coast every other Sunday, and I talk to my local friends all the time. Our conversations go way past small talk, and they’ve given me the strength to power through the loneliness and uncertainty. If you haven’t done it yet, I highly recommend reaching out to the people you love and miss on a regular basis.
There are many other ways to grow during this time, but the point is, if you can get past the uncertainty, you’ll realize we’re living in a rare and powerful moment. What we do with that moment is up to us. With that in mind, no matter where you are in the world, I hope you’ll find your passion, or take some time to work on your physical and mental health. Grow that garden you’ve always been talking about. Call that friend you haven’t talked to in ten years. Grab a loved one and wander around your neighborhood, talking about anything and nothing at all. As they say, the journey is the destination.